March 27, 2005
Happy Easter
That's my nephew Jack. And I assume you recognize the Easter Bunny.
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January 15, 2005
Undone
My boyfriend's mother died last night. It happened suddenly. His cell phone rang about 11:15 p.m. You know how you get that feeling by just looking at someone, and that something is wrong. My boyfriend is Mexican, and he was speaking in Spanish, and I only understand a little so I wasn't exactly sure what was going on.
I will always remember the sound of three loud bangs (he must have hit a door with his fist). I heard that sound, he walked into the study, and told me his mother died a half hour ago. She possibly had a heart attack, but he couldn't confirm this. It's amazing how quickly sadness just washes over you.
We immediately started checking online for flights, so he could head back to Mexico tomorrow. He was concerned about his job, and how much time off he would be able to get (the company he works for is not known to be extremely flexible). He spoke with many members of his family trying to get details and figure things out.
This morning, the sadness finally hit him. I was feeling quite helpless, not knowing what to do or say. I'm hoping that I was comforting enough. He was feeling very regretful over many things: the fact that he never got to say goodbye to her, that she never had the opportunity to come to the United States and see his life here, and that she hadn't received some things that he had mailed her.
He said that everything just feels undone. This morning was the first time that I ever say my boyfriend cry. That was incredibly heartbreaking.
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December 27, 2004
In Praise of Stay At Home Mom's
I spent Christmas with my sister's family this year. She and her husband have a son (6-years-old) and daughter (2 ∏-years-old). I don't know how she does it? To have the amount of patience and energy to deal with two young kids who constantly demand attention, just blows me away. I have a newfound respect for my mother as well (she was a housewife, and my sister and I were the same number of years apart). Between the amount of attention kids need in general, cleaning, errands, making time for herself, and paying the bills (I understand there is much more involved), it takes a lot of personal control to handle that.
So kudos to all those stay at home moms.
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June 08, 2004
My Father and Big Fish
While I will normally post things related to Film, Music, Culture, et-cetera on Pop Culture Junkies, Big Fish hit me in a really big way emotionally, so that's why this is being posted here.
My family has never been one that overly shares emotions and feelings, that's just not the type of people my parents are. This in turn has rubbed off on me as well. My sister on the other hand, is the no-holds-barred type of the family. She'll let it all out. Anyway, in the last few years or so, I've been making a conscious effort talk more about my life with my family, and our relationship.
I have to say that I've been very lucky in terms of my family accepting that I'm gay. I think it helped my parents that I have cousins who are gay, as well as the fact that my father worked with Arts Organizations his whole life. A few years ago my father was diagnosed with Parkinson's. There was some trembling in his hands at first, and then the trembling became a little more severe. My father was opposed to medication for some reason, but once the memory loss really started affecting him he caved in. His short term memory has gotten much better, obviously not to where it was, but it's a drastic improvement.
It's a scary thing seeing your parents going through the aging process. I'm not really scared of going through it myself, but it's just sad seeing your parents struggle. In seeing the struggle, leads one to think about the fact that eventually they will pass away. This finally leads me back to Big Fish.
It's a film about a father and a son, who aren't extremely close. The father has told elaborate stories his whole life, and the son really doesn't feel as if he knows his father. When the father's health takes a turn for the worse, the son comes home to reconnect with his family, and say goodbye. I have never been so affected emotionally by a film in my life. I was just a sobbing mess at the end. I believe the reason for the breakdown, was the fact that I haven't really dealt with the full aspects of my father's illness. Added to that, it's was his birthday yesterday, and Father's Day is coming up. So I called him up, wished him a happy birthday, and told him how much he means to me, and how much I love him. I don't want to wait until he's on his deathbed to really connect.
