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June 08, 2004
My Father and Big Fish
While I will normally post things related to Film, Music, Culture, et-cetera on Pop Culture Junkies, Big Fish hit me in a really big way emotionally, so that's why this is being posted here.
My family has never been one that overly shares emotions and feelings, that's just not the type of people my parents are. This in turn has rubbed off on me as well. My sister on the other hand, is the no-holds-barred type of the family. She'll let it all out. Anyway, in the last few years or so, I've been making a conscious effort talk more about my life with my family, and our relationship.
I have to say that I've been very lucky in terms of my family accepting that I'm gay. I think it helped my parents that I have cousins who are gay, as well as the fact that my father worked with Arts Organizations his whole life. A few years ago my father was diagnosed with Parkinson's. There was some trembling in his hands at first, and then the trembling became a little more severe. My father was opposed to medication for some reason, but once the memory loss really started affecting him he caved in. His short term memory has gotten much better, obviously not to where it was, but it's a drastic improvement.
It's a scary thing seeing your parents going through the aging process. I'm not really scared of going through it myself, but it's just sad seeing your parents struggle. In seeing the struggle, leads one to think about the fact that eventually they will pass away. This finally leads me back to Big Fish.
It's a film about a father and a son, who aren't extremely close. The father has told elaborate stories his whole life, and the son really doesn't feel as if he knows his father. When the father's health takes a turn for the worse, the son comes home to reconnect with his family, and say goodbye. I have never been so affected emotionally by a film in my life. I was just a sobbing mess at the end. I believe the reason for the breakdown, was the fact that I haven't really dealt with the full aspects of my father's illness. Added to that, it's was his birthday yesterday, and Father's Day is coming up. So I called him up, wished him a happy birthday, and told him how much he means to me, and how much I love him. I don't want to wait until he's on his deathbed to really connect.
10:11 AM | Comments (2) | Posted in: Family , Film
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Comments
That was lovely. :)
My family is the same way. Very seperate and not overly emotional.
I have the odd occassions where something will afect me, as Big Fish affected you, and I'll put a little more effort into sharing my feelings.
What always amazes me is how a little really goes a long way.
I was never overly interested in seeing Big Fish, but you may have just convinced me to.
Posted by: jen at June 8, 2004 12:02 PM
It can be hard to have a real relationship with our fathers as grown ups. I'm making an effort, and surprisingly it isn't hard.
Posted by: charlie at June 12, 2004 05:14 PM
